Our toaster at home bit the dust last week and Chenoa bought a new one.
Our old toaster toasted bread. You could set the length of time it toasted by a cute little graph that showed lighter colours on the left and darker colours on the right. Pretty simple right, move the little lever and perfect toast popped out?
The new toaster has lights that flash at me while I’m toasting, four or five lighted buttons that I haven’t figured out yet, and it beeps to let me know the toast just popped … you know, because that popping noise we’ve relied on since the forties wasn’t doing the trick anymore.
Many times each week I hear some random beeping, buzzing, or soft music playing around my house, and have to walk around to see what is finished, starting, or maybe left open. It’s often the fridge, washing machine, dryer, automatic vacuum stuck under a piece of furniture, and now my stupid toaster.
I sound like a crotchety old man, but what was wrong with forgetting your laundry in the dryer for a few days until you ran out of boxers and T-shirts? Does my vacuum really need a distress signal, and the song that comes out of my washing machine makes me want to punch it square in the fancy front loading glass door. Shut the hell up! I’ll deal with my laundry when I feel like it and if need be, I’ll re-wash the mouldy clothes in the same quiet washing machine a few days later.
My daughter was babysitting her brother last year and we got a panic phone call because she thought the smoke alarm was beeping. After Chenoa listened through the phone for a bit, she realized the fridge door was left ajar. Problem solved. (A problem that should never have existed, that is.)
I’m done with new, fancy technology and unwanted noises being forced on me.
Well … almost. I was riding my new bike yesterday and it is equipped with the latest and greatest in shifting technology. No more levers to push and no more cables. It works through a bluetooth type system and uses batteries. Instead of that energy wasting push on the long shift levers, you now just tap a button and voila, your bike is in the perfect gear. Every time I shift there is a soft bzzt, bzzt as the battery powers the tiny motor and shifts gears for me.
In addition, I recently added an electronic dropper seat post too. Now during any given ride, I shift, or adjust my saddle height and the batteries and motors work their magic, and we all get to hear. Bzzt, Bzzt, Bzzt, Bzzt Bzzt Bzzt Bzzt. Then every time I coast my rear nub buzzes like a swarm of bees. Buuuuuuzzzzzzzz. It’s loud and sooo satisfying. OK, so I don’t hate all technology, my new bike is amazing and I love all the little noises it makes, but I might throw my new toaster out the window next time it beeps.