I just don’t want to go

A lack of motivation quickly evaporates once I get out on the trail

It’s Thursday afternoon and for some reason every week at this time I hit the wall.

I am mentally exhausted, hungry, and I just want a night at home relaxing. BUT, I organize a Thursday night group ride so there will be no relaxing.

I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep from having a baby at home. Maybe a week of scrambling around the bike shop has worn me out.

Maybe I’m just old and need to start having midday naps.

In the end it doesn’t matter what the cause, I’m tired and the last thing I want to do is ride my bike. Yeah me, the guy who lives to mountain bike has the odd moment with zero motivation.

So, the group shows up despite me secretly wishing they wouldn’t.

I climb on the bike and plan a much shorter ride than normal. I explain that I’m tired and the pace will be mellow, and we head for the trails.

We have just rounded the corner out of the parking lot and I can feel the stress disappearing already, but as we start into the trails and the hill climbs begin I feel crushed and quickly shorten the ride again in my head.

By the time we reach the top of the first trail I’m ready to turn around.

Then, as we rest for five minutes, my heart rate slows down and I start to relax. I’m warmed up now and feeling more alive.

I start to wonder why I planned such a short ride. I have forgotten about being tired and stressed and start adding trails to the loop, trying to create the most technical route I can imagine.

A few trails later and I am still behind the faster riders, but I’m feeling pretty good by this point. I add on another trail or two and before I know it I’ve doubled my original ride plan.

On the way back to the shop I scrap the idea of a short cut down the road section and opt for more single track.

For the last trail the pace gets pushed to the next level. My legs are cramping and my lungs are burning, but I don’t want anyone to pass me and the adrenalin is pushing me faster.

The group sprints the last couple of blocks to the shop as a group and it feels easy.

Over a post ride beer I thank the group for showing up and forcing me to ride. I can’t believe I considered not going, what a great night. I wish it was next Thursday already.

Now if I can just calm myself down before I get home, I might be able to sleep.

I’m James Durand and I’m Goin’ Ridin’…