CONVERSATIONS WITH MIKE

No-one can out-yell Logger Mike in traffic gridlock

It was practically gridlock in downtown Campbell River and few were happy.

Twas Friday afternoon, just a few hours before knocking-off time and the unofficial start to the Labour Day weekend.

Long weekends always create panic as fun-seekers load up on weenies, buns, booze and just enough ‘smores supplies to gooey up an entire campsite.

Getting out of “Dodge” on these days requires real focus.

Errand boy, or girl, must compete for the last narrow spaces in the gauntlet of chaotic plaza parking lots. Then there are the painful waits in slow-moving check-out lines. Finally, you try to make it back to home base and that’s where it goes to Fort Mac in a hand basket.

Shopper’s Row jams up with vehicles oozing from every side street and then you have the pedestrians who dawdle in the crosswalks as they giggle at another “lol message” on their crackberries.

Add in the downtown construction that’s closed St. Ann’s Road and there you have it, all the makings for bedlam!

So there I was, stuck in “gridlock” as if I were driving in downtown Vancouver. Well, it’s never that bad and “real traffic” in Campbell River typically means you get home five minutes later – big deal.

Others though, aren’t so patient.

Take, for instance, the cabbie waiting at the four-way stop at Shopper’s and 11th Avenue. I had arrived at the intersection first, but wasn’t going anywhere because traffic was backed right up to the crosswalk due to the new four-way stop just up Shopper’s at 10th Ave.

As I waited for a pedestrian to first cross and the traffic to clear, the frustrated cabbie tried to drive through first. Not to be outdone, I proceeded into the intersection with my hand firmly planted on the horn.

It was at the height of craziness when Big Logger Mike suddenly jumped down from his spar pole.

“EVERYBODY STOP!” he bellowed, as his voice bounced off the Strathcona mountains and everyone came to a halt.

“Geez Louise, I’ve had enough of this madness,” he went on. “It’s bad enough I’m smack dab in the middle of this mess, but it’s even worse when guys like you and you [he was pointing at me and the cabbie] can’t behave decently!”

I looked sheepish while the cabbie looked over his shoulder as if Big Mike was yelling at someone else.

He shook a scolding finger at us, then grabbed an oversized stop sign and started directing traffic like an honest-to-goodness cop.

“You proceed, you SLOW DOWN, and you, stop putting on make-up while you’re driving,” Logger Mike ordered.

Suddenly, everything was moving smoothly again, but Big Mike wasn’t finished.

“You, yes YOU, get the heck off that skateboard or yer gettin’ a paddlin’ with this stop sign!”

 

paulr@campbellrivermirror.com

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

MMFN First Nation has said that it will restrict access to portion of Highway 28 that passes through the Nation’s land until a road use agreement is reached. (Black Press file photo)
Vancouver Island First Nation blocks highway access to logging trucks in Gold River

Mowachaht/Muchalaht First Nation restricting access for Western Forest Products pending road deal

Campbell River Remembrance Day Ceremony 2019. Campbell River Mirror file photo
Campbell River Remembrance Day Ceremony to go ahead in reduced form

Public asked not to attend; event will be streamed on social media, Shaw TV

Father Charles Brandt, a hermit priest. File Photo
Black Creek environmentalist and Catholic priest-hermit Father Charles Brandt passes away

He devoted his life to protecting and preserving natural habitats

Two suspects seen outside of Gord Knight Auto on Oct. 27 at around 4:15 a.m. Campbell River RCMP are looking for information on these suspects’ identities. Photo supplied by RCMP
RCMP look for suspects in break-in cases

Two suspects caught on surveilance video

Campbell River RCMP. RCMP photo
Police investigation results in multiple property crime charges

A Campbell River RCMP investigation has lead to multiple property crime charges… Continue reading

Provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry updates the COVID-19 situation, B.C. legislature, Oct. 26, 2020. (B.C. government)
B.C.’s COVID-19 case count jumps by 287, another senior home outbreak

Two more deaths recorded, community outbreak in Okanagan

An untitled Emily Carr painting of Finlayson Point was donated to the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria by brothers Ian and Andrew Burchett. The painting had been in their family for several decades. (Courtesy of the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria)
Never before seen painting by famed B.C. artist Emily Carr gifted to Victoria gallery

Painting among several donated to Art Gallery of Greater Victoria

Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good

Pay it Forward program supports local businesses in their community giving

100 Mile Conservation officer Joel Kline gingerly holds an injured but very much alive bald eagle after extracting him from a motorist’s minivan. (Photo submitted)
Rescued bald eagle that came to life in B.C. man’s car had lead poisoning

Bird is on medication and recovering in rehab centre

The B.C. Centre for Disease control is telling people to keep an eye out for the poisonous death cap mushroom, which thrives in fall weather conditions. (Paul Kroeger/BCCDC)
Highly poisonous death cap mushroom discovered in Comox

This marks first discovery on Vancouver Island outside Greater Victoria area

Janet Austin, lieutenant governor of B.C., was presented with the first poppy of the Royal Canadian Legion’s 2020 Poppy Campaign on Wednesday. (Kendra Crighton/News Staff)
PHOTOS: B.C. Lieutenant Governor receives first poppy to kick off 2020 campaign

Janet Austin ‘honour and a privileged’ to receive the poppy

Cowichan Search and Rescue set up near the Silver Bridge in Duncan on Wednesday morning, Oct. 28, 2020 to rescue a dog from the Cowichan River. (Citizen file)
Cowichan Search and Rescue save dog from icy Cowichan River

Search and Rescue’s swiftwater team was called in

Premier-elect John Horgan and cabinet ministers are sworn in for the first time at Government House in Victoria, July 18, 2017. (Arnold Lim/Black Press)
Pandemic payments have to wait for B.C. vote count, swearing-in

Small businesses advised to apply even if they don’t qualify

Most Read