Like other parents, we struggle with what our 21-year-old daughter wants to do with her life. She has basically worked during and after high school, on and off, for most of her young life. But now, alas, she is looking for something upon which she can decide or try.
So it was that I was met with her request to help her write her resume. That alone had dynamite written all over it. I knew I couldn’t win.
Despite that, I agreed.
And here, dear readers, I beg your patience, please read the detailed resume of my much-loved daughter.
Profile:
- Honours graduate Timberline Secondary.
- Award-winning gymnast with CR Springs gymnastic club.
- Five years as coach with CR Springs gymnastic club
- Blueberry harvesting and weeding with Ross Mountain blueberry farm.
- Artist. My pen and ink sketches have been sold in two art studios in Campbell River.
- Tee Shirt designer, buyers including Spinner Sports and Strathcona Park Lodge.
That was as far as I got before I realized that honesty is the best policy. When other businesses want to hire someone who worked for or with me, I have always been totally honest. And that includes their best attributes that normally would not make a ‘normal’ resume questionnaire.
So I continued on with my daughter’s resume.
Relevant Skills:
• Excellent physical condition, although I eat like an elephant and don’t gain weight.
• Can fart with the best of them.
• Hygiene is questionable, depending on who you talk to and to whom I was close.
• Have no idea of my personal financial terms except that they mean “Mom and Dad.”
• Extremely neat, if you count shoving all my dirty clothes into the closet. And closing the door.
• Can drive, despite a few close calls that really didn’t threaten anyone’s life; I think, but am not sure.
• Excellent cook but only know only one dish and the occasional breakfast cereal. With milk, does that make three?
• Non drinker, non drug taker, but you wouldn’t know it if you talked to me for more than 15 seconds.
• Love reading, but I always start at the back of the book so I know what’s going to happen.
The father again - got to the volunteer portion that I had to write. And, again, was as honest as I could be.
Volunteering:
- Myself: Who cares about anyone else?
- My Pets: Sometimes I feed them, if they’re still conscious.
So after that, it was time for the proof in the pudding.
With some trepidation I asked Neala to read the resume that I had written for her.
Amid some grumbling, she sat down on my computer chair and started to read what you have just read.
And she laughed!
Falling off my computer chair, she laughed uncontrollably, and according to her; “almost peed my pants.”
And as she laughed Wendy and I laughed with her.
I can’t get her a job, but at least I gave her a great memory that would last a lifetime.